A Series of Nightmare

I know that this post is kinda out of what I'm supposed to be posting about which is "Love or Lust" but I definitely have ta blog this!

I slept early last night thinking that I need to wake up early for my class tomorrow. So I pull my blanket plus comforter (it was shit cold) and tug myself comfortably in it. As I drool and doze of into my sleep, my series of nightmares began!

• I had a dream that my friend's girl (note: I'm not sure which friend's so no hard feelings) was like a super-glue sticking to me every moment like a bug. It was kinda annoying (in that dream my friend's fury eyeballs were shooting at me)
• I was having dinner with my family and suddenly I was sitting on a different table. When I realized I was just on the upper floor of the restaurant I tried to go down back to my family's table but failed. Somehow a series of stupid and threatening events kept preventing me from going downstairs.
• I had a gun in my hand and there was a body sprawling on the ground with no blood oozing out surprisingly. Police sirens were every where and I ran. As I ran the scene changes again to the longest nightmare of all last night
• I was a boxer (fighter perhaps) and was on the run. I was running away from a group of people that I just fought and they were seeking me for revenge or what ever I do not know. I ran into a hideout of another group of fighters. However, luckily this group of people were kind to let me hide in their place. They even have a underground cult praying center and a pagoda for housing. I was sent up to one of the rooms for rest. Later, one of the member told me that a higher-up of theirs wanted to meet me. And so I went to meet up the person but it was a long way up as I have to go through mazes to reach that meeting point. It was an empty unfurnished room. The guy (which was supposed to be the best fighter in the group) asked me whether I wanted to be stronger and I said, "Yeah!" Next thing I know I was being stabbed my super lots of needles and syringes onto my chest and arms. Pain!
• This event is still based on what happened above earlier but I was in a different body of another person as I watched the guy who got stabbed by all those stuffs shouted in pain and his body was getting bigger. I tried to run away. As I reached the door I took a glimpse the so called best fighter in the group has his head got burst by a blow from the now monstrous person. I ran down the stairs as I heard the monstrous mutated person was chasing me! Other members in the group just seemed to disappear. I reached the bottom but the door wouldn't budge (as usual...) and I don't know where the monstrous person was. All I had to do was to tremble at one spot!

I woke up! :p

Saturday April 19th: flip-phone, slide-phone, dis-knee, etc. etc.

The date says it all. Its an eventful day! First of all, my friends and I had a wonderful card and pizza night before that. We played a new card game that Michelle learned from her friends in CR (note that CR does have some entertainment huh...) . Oh, the game was called "sheng ji" (hope that my pinyin is correct) meaning "naik pangkat". Its a nice and funny game I can tell you with all those complicated rules (wonder its the game problem or the teacher's fault). Not to forget that due to popular demand from Mario and I, we proceeded to the "conteng muka" game which I bet Rain would be so envy of that we were playing that! Haha. . . Too bad you're late a day.

And so, enough said of the night of Friday the 18th.

First thing we did on this day would be that we went to Jordan Creek to watch "The Forbidden Kingdom" by Jet Li and Jackie Chan. I don't wanna put on my comments on that show and what I thought about it since Wilson did the courtesy of putting so in his blog. Thanks Wilson for saving my time in this post. After the movie, guess what happens? We all went back to treat our vanity for the Malaysian Night later on. After Malaysian Night, the party continues! It was a super eventful day and night I can tell. Much happens and we all had fun! Though a little of mishap at the end of the session, I hope everyone would just chill about it. No point making yourself unhappy for the insignificant events right?

Here are photos of our fun and exciting moments:

Rain with the Hamsap Boys!

The House-mates of 38th Street

Seth and I. Randy popping out from the middle

Kaki Minumku

Fellow Malaysian Night committee and all. You guys and girls did a great job!

Rachel (those funny words in my title has something to do with her, don't you all agree), Chris,
Me, Seng Zhao, Quack, Michelle

The Initial everyone. Crush became kinda over crowded later on

P.S.: I have lots more of wonderful pictures taken. Lazy to upload and also groupie pictures with me inside are kinda limited since I'm the one who "pegang" camera!

Is marriage necessary

Read Rain's blog some time ago and there was this post where it caught my attention (others are just a fag). The post was something on whether marriage is necessary. Reasons and points were posted up for us readers at that time to ponder upon. Few of the questions that might come up when you're reading it will be:

1. Is marriage another level of commitment in a relationship and love?
2. Is marriage is just like any other piece of legal paper? Once there's a glitch in the gear of relationship does the piece of paper pose any special effect?
3. Why would people wanna get married?
4. Does marriage proves that you relationship has reached a stable point?

In my opinion, marriage is just a process of officiating that two individuals are now generally together. Having go through this process does not put you into any new wave of love or deeper commitment. You are committed enough once you are loving and sincere to each other. What marriage does is to put you through the society legal process of acceptance. Should you do not get married and stay together for a super long term society will tend to put you into the illegal, bad category. That's societal truth especially in the East too. If not the word cohabitation (thanks to Michelle for mentioning this word earlier) would not have be created and people would not wince at hearing this word.

Also, to the both individuals who tied the knot through marriage, it might appear as useless to them from what I describe earlier above. However, somehow and somewhat this marriage does affect them. Whether a conscious thought or an unconscious thought, people who tied the know tend to commit a new extra few % into their relationship compared to before marriage. Having being brought up by the society and lived as the society, these individuals would now feel that they have been recognized 100% by their spouses and are now deserving this title. Therefore, is marriage necessary if you asked me?

The answer: In this very world we have been living for such a long time, yes we do! Also, on a personal part, I do want my special someone to be recognize as my other half rather than being my girlfriend only won't I. *wink

P.S.: I have a professor in one of my classes where he's not married due to the fact that he and his girlfriend agreed that as long as the government does not pass the law of allowing gay marriage they will not get married. However, they do have a legal paper done that shows that they are by legal together. So, does that considered a marriage?

Something special

My two and a half years of studying is gonna end soon. Friends and mates are gonna go apart. Will we still be what we are 5 years from now? Anyway, before everything ends, I'm gonna give ya all something memorable and special!

Cheers!

PS: Hope I can get it done on time!

Insecure

In our world of such superficiality, would there ever be such a thing as transparency? We hold tightly to our believe that transparency is the key to a peaceful world and blah blah blah but can such thing ever come true? My ENG101 lecturer, Miss Mary once stamp these words of "carpe diem" hard into our heart and living. It means seize the day! Be yourself! Live your life to the fullest and be happy about it. Happiness of living once life to the fullest is to me the greatest blessing a person could ever receive. However, I now ask the question would us people ever get it?

Being happy. What's so hard about it? Content! Relief! Laugh! Smile! Those are all part of what happiness is. In most cases, making others happy is gonna make yourself happy even more. That is what I have been believing and have been holding on in life. Isn't it correct? Nevertheless, as time goes on, I do now realize that by making others happy I would ending up hurting another. Could that be call happiness for myself? I made A happy by doing such and such but by doing so I made B unhappy. And since the world is in the shape of a circle, it will hit me back with a sad result.

I know I'm not the almighty God and I'm not perfect but can't I even do something as simple as making everyone happy? I do have a rough idea what happens. While I'm busy cheering up another, I sent out insecurities to the other unknowingly. I never think of the thoughts and feelings of others once I'm focusing on one. As always, the insecurities that I gave would somehow end up hurting those whom I tried so hard to cheer on. Is it my own very deep down in the core of a problem that I cannot provide comfort, warmth and security to people? Is my method of doing so wrong? I have no idea on what other methods I could use or try. Not being myself to provide these is just like betraying myself by pushing aside my principals.

Smile and face it. That has always been my way of cheering people and showing my concern. However, others might feel that this is immature of me and I should have been serious about it. I am serious is what I always say but can't I be serious with a smile and a lighter heart? Must seriousness be a heavy thing? Is this what society wants me to do? Is by putting a fake front would give more security? I do have a lot of fake masks that I usually wear and I could do it anytime should it make everyone feel better. But how long would it lasts I asked myself. Lying or just telling a white lie is a second nature to me already but when it comes down to things I hold dearly I ought to feel that I should let you all know this is who I am really.

In such a superficial world then how could I really find who myself truly need to be or who I truly am? I'm lost and have been lost for too long of a period of time already. At least it shows to me that I'm feeling most unsecured right now. Not knowing what, who, and why of me, myself and I. Maybe this is the root of the problem after all...

In such a night...

Des Moines has finally turn green! What a relief after months of seeing it in white. Its also the time where I can actually open my window now and not having the cold sensation lingering at every part of my body. With such a beautiful weather what's better than is to have a clear night sky filled with stars accompanied by the buzz of crickets!

Okay! Okay! I know I'm being sissy-like again but listening to old ballads such as Careless Whisper (which is currently blazing up in my room) aren't really helping me not to either! I suddenly remembered something my buddy used to love to say once when we were in high school. It goes on like this:

In such a night, did pretty Jessica blah blah blah (I could only remember half of it! Anyway, what important to him at that time was the girl's name)

Right now, I'm gonna try my very own modified version:

In such a night, is my soul still lingering in the cry cool air of spring not knowing where it should settle down on? In such a night, am I still thinking on what I could have done to make things better now? In such a night, am I having regrets on decisions that I have made? In such a night, would a cup of hot steamy coffee help to ease my beaten up mind? In such a night, would those that I care for think of me too? In such a night, in such a night, in such a night, would I be still having this kind of thoughts and feeling in such a night?

My friend, Rain told me recently that she wanted to rebut some of my opinions which I have post up on my blog but couldn't find the right words to express. This is what I'm having at the moment and the best I could do in such a night is to write out those questions that I can best relate my feelings on.

Night everyone!

April Fool

Hey yo everyone!

How's the fooling so far? Got fooled? Fooled someone?

Well, in my case, I did fool a couple of people out there! But haven't got fooled by anyone. I'm just to protective of myself. Teehee. . . As in any case, this April Fool is a kinda special to me. Wanna know why?

Is is because I finally date a girl after such a long period?

Is it because I found gold?

Is it because I'm gonna become president?

All wrong!

Its because set up for myself a very own personal candle-light dinner. Yup! Shocked? Surprised? Feel like strangling me? Lame? Haha. . . Laugh all you want at a foolish me preparing up a special dinner for myself. But I kinda like it. Sometimes you gotta treat yourself nice and for me this is one of those many occasions! Words can't explain it. So, here are the pictures!

Enjoy!

Today's menu: tomato soup au gratin, Malaysia map Steak, ice Ribena

Don't you think it looks like the map of M'sia (left: peninsular; right: Borneo)